One Year Later

Last Christmas Day, I was home in Staunton celebrating a quiet morning with Mom and Dad. We had a leisurely morning, chocolate chip cookies for breakfast, mimosas for brunch and enjoyed the peace that the day brought.

We reflected on the year and shared memories of Christmases past - each year looks a little bit different and we cherished last year, just the three of us Christmas morning. The afternoon brought Amy and her family with lots of excitement, energy and enthusiasm about the holiday season. We took the girls to our small town park and played just like we were ten years old again. Amy and I did our best to keep up with the girls and realized our limitations when we had trouble fitting in the seats of the swings! We laughed out loud and enjoyed being sisters :)

This year as the day approaches, we prepare in anticipation of many new memories to be made. This will be our first Christmas Day together in the five years we have known each other. The house is cozy and warm, ready to receive guests and Santa in a few days. I didn't pack a thing to get on an airplane, this year everyone is coming to see us as we await the arrival of our son, Noah. We are thrilled to be blessed with such an amazing family, support system and the anticipation adding another member of our family is overwhelming. I have so many happy holiday memories and traditions from childhood ~ from running top speed down the stairs, stockings then Santa, sausage cheese casserole, the advent calendars, the Trinity Christmas Eve service ~ just remembering a permanent smile on my face during the holiday season. I want to pass along the traditions to Noah and create our own this 2008 Christmas, as it has already exceeded my expectations and our baby has not even arrived...

Handsome

Dear Lou,

As you sit there so handsomely in front of the Christmas tree, with your big brown eyes and red festive sweater- I want you to know how important you are to our family. First of all, you are our number one guy - you are the only pooch I've ever had and you have brought so much happiness into my life. You love us all unconditionally and are always there to greet us at the door. Your excitement with new toys and treats is contagious and your clicking toes across the hardwood floor never fail to bring a smile to my face. I love the way your cheeks flap in the wind when you ride in the backseat with the windows down. The pleading in your eyes when it is time for a bath, then the way you prance around when your coat is clean. You are the light of Lex's life and have seen her through some difficult times, travelling from Tucson in the back of the truck, always returning home where you were most loved. You accepted Mama and Teddy tentatively at first, you snuggled Mama with love and I see you getting closer to Teddy each day. Not an evening goes by that we don't stop what we are doing to watch you ~ snuggle into your bed, smash your face, play with your toys, give you a treat, take a photo or rub your belly. Not to mention the comfort you bring to the office as you receive massages along with Lex's clients. You are truly a member of our family and you will have a new responsibility soon as a big brother to baby Noah. We have no doubt that you will take as good care of him as you do us and we are so blessed that you are here with us this holiday and feeling so much better :) ALL OUR LOVE TO YOU LOUDOG!

Love, your mommies

Thanksgiving Weekend 2008

I feel like this year, like every year, we have SO much to be thankful for. Although we did not have a traditional holiday, this Thanksgiving holiday has been full of firsts and packed with activity. Top firsts for this weekend are...(drumroll please!)

1. First 4 am Black Friday adventure (paid for it later, ugh!)
2. Made dark hot chocolate in the middle of the afternoon - yummy!
3. Woke up to RAIN on Thanksgiving Day
4. Did not eat any stuffing
5. Put together a baby crib on Thanksgiving Day
6. Washed our first load of Noah's laundry
7. Developed a writing curriculum for work
8. Put together a dresser for Noah's room
9. Got 60% of our Christmas shopping done in one morning
10. Took a nap almost every day :)
11. Listened to our birthing cd
12. Finished a book, Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer
13. Talked to my sister twice in one weekend
14. Lou got a bath & a trip to the park
15. Ordered my first bowl of Frosted Flakes in a restaurant - YUMMO!

Super Surprises

planning our final baby hurrah has been more than an adventure - from where to host, who to host, me insisting on handmade invitations with RSVP cards nonetheless that when the weekend finally arrived - we were more than ready! we decided to have lex's parents host the Saturday night party, with beer, boys and children.

So we had planned on Thursday night to pick Lex's sister, Ana up from the airport around 10pm. It just so happens that Ana often misses flights or is unsure of when they actually arrive in Phoenix. I had every intent of going to the airport until Lex got a call that the flight was delayed (as they often are coming from California) and I just couldn't get myself off the couch. So off Lex goes to the airport...

When she returns, she comes in the door and says 'look who's here???" I thought she was talking to Lou since he loves his Tia Ana so much. I sleepily open my eyes and who walks through the door but MY MOM!! I couldn't have been more shocked, overwhelmed, excited and happy at that moment :) I'm pretty sure she got at least three hugs in about 30 seconds time. Never in a million years would I have predicted such a surprise..usually I'm the one randomly hopping on planes and showing up unexpectedly - how fun to be on the other side!!

But the surprises didn't end there - We had already planned to go to the famous Pizzeria Bianco on Friday night with the family, so our party was just extended as Ana, my mom and Betsy joined us for a fabulous pizza dinner downtown. After dinner, Lex and Betsy secretly take off, saying they have another surprise. Waiting, waiting, waiting..at the house for them to come back - the door finally opens again and Lex is there, without Betsy, but with our friend Breanne from San Francisco!! What a treat! She brought such positive energy and fun to the whole weekend - I have never felt so special :)

So with two additonal houseguests, we were able to really get the party started! Saturday we visited in the morning, got our coffee buzz on (everyone but me, that is) and headed west to decorate. The house looked great with lots of harvesty things, pumpkins and white lights. Most of our guests arrived and we gifted each one with special orange bracelets that said 'live laugh love' in honor of Noah's birth. The buffet was a hit and we had no leftovers, which is always a good sign. Our guests signed a framed invitation with a message to our little boy. We packed up the car late and headed home to be ready for Sunday's event.

Sunday was a beautiful November day - warm enough for sleeveless - and our guests arrived ready for brunch and baby gifts. We received so many thoughtful gifts from all of our friends and family and feel truly blessed to have such amazing people in our lives.

As we reflect back on this weekend, we will remember the kindness, love and support that has been consistently given to us in honor of our new family.

hypnobirthing

comfortable...safe...peaceful...relaxed...natural...these are the words we have chosen to describe the birth of our son. now that we have graduated from our hypnobirthing class, which was amazing, each day we affirm the direction we want the birth to take. we have been listening to the relaxation cds and practice self-hypnosis regularly along with the affirmations. i'm training my mind to visualize the birth again and again, we have been talking to Noah regularly to guide him in the direction of no interventions. the last few times we have been to the doctor, she felt around and let us know he is already in the birthing position with his head down (so he's listening so far!) our doctor is totally supportive of our wishes and we are confident that we will succeed. we are encouraging noah to come a few days early so he will be here for christmas, each day we are taking steps to prepare for our little man to join the world.

Kiss the Dolphin

If someone had ever told me I would be seven months pregnant, getting in a wetsuit and kissing dolphins, I never would have believed her. My wishes have come true in so many ways over the past few months (except the wetsuit part) - What an amazing experience! I got the tickets for my birthday - THANK YOU SO MUCH MOM AND DAD!! and didn't know if we were going to be able to actually do the interaction with a baby in the belly, but it was fabulous. Lex was a dear and totally took care of me and helped me into the suit and then took lots of fun pictures to remember the day. Thank you, my love.

QUIET

I want to remember the quiet..the hum of the air conditioner, the click of Lou's paws as he shifts positions on his bed. The silence of Teddy's yawn and saunter through the house. The lone flap of the doggyo door as one goes in or out. The stillness of the air as I am left alone with only my thoughts to direct my next move. I am in the midst of the Friday night quiet, and I want to remember.

Day 1, Lunar Month 7

We're coming down the home stretch, baby boy...so far in our journey together, here are some highlights of our adventure:

APRIL

Beginning of the month- We went to yoga class, took a trip to Slide Rock State Park and we hiked all over Squaw Peak Park. We ate our last meal of sushi and I drank my final glass of wine in celebration and anticipation that you might be real.

April 26- we were terrified to take the test to see if you really were real (like the Velveteen Rabbit) and even though I was over a week late, we were still in shock. This was the day we took two tests and got two bright blue +'s, confirming that our miracle had happened.

During this month, I was food craved at least every two hours and brought snacks with me everywhere I went. I had to wear a sports bra all of the time due to the pain in my chest. Developmentally, the buds of your arms and legs began to form as well as buds of the liver and pancreas. The aorta of your heart began to form and we began to fall in love.

MAY

Your heart started to beat and I became a stickler for eating all things good for us. Your mom celebrated her graduation and together, we began telling family and friends about you. Your brain began to develop and the intestines began to form and you now have eyelids!

May 22 - We took our first long road trip together to San Diego to meet your Tia Ana and your Aunt Chris and Anne who were meeting us in California from Virginia. We had a picnic at Balboa Park, walked around Little Italy and went to a party in Cardiff. Your Tia Ana took all of us to the spa for the day where we bathed in mud and salt baths (only up to my hips so the hot water wouldn't hurt you).

May 30 - We spent our last day at the Department of Education together. This was a healthy move for me and you were agreeable to the change.

JUNE

June 2- Today we heard your heart beat! We met our new doctor and she likes all of us very much and we feel confident she will take good care of us.

June 4- Your first trip to the Phoenix zoo with Aunt Paige and Uncle Justin - we met the giraffes, the rhinos and the warthogs!

Your fingernails are beginning to grow and your brain has developed the same structure it will have at birth, you can open your mouth and your tooth buds began to develop. By the middle of June, you were about 2 1/2 inches long.

June 17 - You got your first picture taken, we had an ultrasound and blood test and everything showed up perfectly!

June 20 - Your first camping trip north to Morman Lake to visit with Aunt Malaka and Uncle Kyle. We all stayed in a trailor and went fishing in the morning. Your mom caught her first fish!

We told your grandparents about you and they are SO excited!

June 23 - Your first cross country flight to Virginia. Your aunt Suzy knew you were on your way when I didn't order a beer at dinner! Aunt Chris joined us too ;)

June 26 - 1st swim in the Atlantic Ocean

June 28 - you met your Aunt Amy and cousins Hannah and Gracie for the first time

JULY

You can now turn your head, open your mouth, and press your lips together and you only weigh one ounce! You can make a fist, move your thumbs and bend your wrists. You can kick, turn your feet outward and inward and curl your toes.

July 2 - SURPRISE! Our family threw us all a surprise party in your honor!

July 6 - Your first theater performance- The Lost Colony

July 8 - 1st ferry ride to Okracoke

July 9 - Indiana Jones, your first movie

July 12 - meet your Aunt Jill, Uncle Jason and cousin Keira

July 13 - Virginia baby shower with all your family and friends

July 14- Mama kitty passed away :(

July 21 - First adventure at the water park! We went to Sunsplash with your cousins Gabby and Nathan

AUGUST

You sleep and wake as much as a newborn does. Your legs are developing to their final relative proportions and you are beginning to look like a minature newborn. Your face is peaceful with closed eyes, nostrils and a nicely formed mouth and you already know how to suck your thumb. (mommy won't encourage this practice once you are born, she struggled with it until she was six!)

August 3 - First visit to church

August 4 - Your first, first day of school

August 5 - Your mom gave me a massage, we loved it!

August 7 - YOU ARE A BOY! 4-D Ultrasound

August 8 - Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremonies with Paige and Justin

August 15 - I began to feel your movements :)

August 18 - Your first yoga class

August 22 - Your mom felt you move for the first time in my tummy!!

We started reading books to you before bedtime this month. I pulled out my books from my classroom and we enjoyed listening to stories together.

August 30 - Your SECOND cross country flight!

SEPTEMBER

You are moving more and more each day and you are getting ready for life outside my body. I notice your movements the most during the mid morning, lunchtime and evening hours. You have only kept me up one night so far, but even then it was only for a little while. When we went to see "The Dark Knight", the noises from the movie kept you moving and jumping. We are continuing to go to yoga classes twice a week. The community is so good for all three of us and we are enjoying this time together. We have registered for a birthing class, a breastfeeding class and a prenatal class along with a visit to the L&D unit at Good Samaritan. We are reading books at night and listening to the ipod before bedtime.

Labor Day Weekend - Visited Jill, Jason and Keira at their Montross house and spent the day by the water with Amy, Hannah and Gracie

September 1- Your first trip to Northern Virginia and your first Jimmy Buffet Concert!!

September 24 - Your first Ani DiFranco concert

September 26 - Your mom and I will celebrate our 5 year anniversary this day :)

The Labor Day Weekend Show

Making someone's dreams come true is exactly what we did this Labor Day weekend. Mom and Dad have been wanting for years to go see Jimmy Buffet in concert. I'm pretty sure Dad was Jimmy Buffet in another life, or certainly aspires to be! About a week before the show, I sent them an email about how to be a tailgaiting parrothead and a list of items to be packed for the concert. We headed out of Colonial Beach on Labor Day Monday, headed for the Nissan Pavilion. All of us had our Buffet shirts packed and ready to go and the coolers were full for our dinner. Tom Tom led the way straight to the venue and we pulled into the parking lot in the middle of a party already in session. There were men in grass skirts with coconut bras, shark tatoos, palm trees, beach balls and lots of Buffet tunes in the air. We set up our card table in preparation for our meal. We feasted on cheeseburgers in paradise - lettuce and tomato, kosher pickles and cold draft beers for everyone but me! I had a virgin margarita in the spirit of celebration. We topped off the meal with homemade chocolate chip cookies, packed up and it was time to head into the show. We couldn't take pictures inside the arena, but the show was absolutely outstanding - he played all of our old favorites and we listened to some new tunes that weren't familiar, but loved anyway. Got to love a guy who plays his concerts barefooted with beach balls being tossed around the fans. After the show we spent about an hour hanging out with other fans in the parking lot- thank goodness for the cookies that were left! All in all, the Labor Day weekend show was the ultimate dream come true for all of us.

Work, work, work

Big pile of it

and the boss is a jerk.

I just want to disappear

Wishin' I was somewhere other than here.

Livin' for the weekend,

Jumpin' off the deep end,

With just enough money to buy

A license to chill

And I believe I will

Let the rat race run, roll around in the sun until

Trouble turns funny, songs get sung

A little bit of money, the night's still young

Leave me alone

I've got a license,

A license to chill

Sisters

As I watch my nieces and reflect on my relationship with my own sister, I wouldn't trade having a sister for anything. We are so alike in so many ways and yet our life paths are so different in so many ways. Watching Hannah and Gracie is like having our childhood reflected right in front of us. They mirror so much of what Amy and I experienced growing up, from their personalities to how they play with each other. My sister is the only one who truly understands 'the family' in the same ways as I do. So many of our experiences are the same, but our memories are different. Hannah is like Amy, sensitive, loving, giving, caring. Hannah loves animals, babies and younger children. She is eager to please always lends a helping hand. Gracie is adventurous, bold, independent and loves making jokes. The bottom line is their love for each other. They each look out for each other, extend a hand of protection and want to know how the other is at all times. They laugh together, they cry together and they are building a lifetime of memories together, just like Amy and I. I love you, big sis!

Sweet Little Girls

"When I look back, I am so impressed again with the life-giving power of literature. If I were a young person today, trying to gain a sense of myself in the world, I would do that again by reading, just as I did when I was young."

~ Maya Angelou ~

August 31, Hannah and Keira at the Northern Neck Beach House

Mama

Granola's Coming Out Party

Sometimes you experience something so wonderful that it gets even better every time you think about it.

On the last day of our vacation before heading back to Phoenix, our closest friends and family gathered to celebrate our journey into parenthood. It may seem like just a baby shower to some people, but to Lex and I, who didn't have the wedding or the automatic recognition from society, this was huge. We are still in awe that all of you came together to celebrate US.

Everyone who came to Colonial Beach set aside the day and compromised to be there for us. Jill, Jason and Keira came down from Delaware and missed an important family event to celebrate with us. Jill stayed up late making pacifier necklaces and packing a box of goodies for us.



Cindy, Sasha, Cy and Lisa made the long drive from Richmond, missed Cy's nap time and almost dinner time to celebrate with us.

Hannah and Gracie were kind enough to share their toys and their playroom with lots of new children to make the party fun for us.

Kim, Steve, Evan and Grayson made a family Sunday trip, taking the detour to talk about the historic sites along the way, just to be there for us.

Chris and Anne labored over guacamole, left the dogs at home without a sitter, made DELICIOUS cupcakes (that were smeared all over our faces!) and designed special games for us.
Mom and Dad left their quiet beach house, packed the grilling tools and a cooler, drove almost 4 hours for the day, to celebrate with us.


Amy, Brian, Hannah, Gracie and Mitch opened thier home, cut their beach vacation short, cleaned the house, went grocery shopping and rearranged the yard, to make a special celebration for us.

To top everything, each person made a special mandala in our baby's honor that will be proudly displayed in his room. (Thanks Chris and Anne!) I am so thankful to have each of you in our lives and I cannot begin to tell you how much having all of you there to celebrate our baby granola means to us :) We love you all!

Outer Banks Rules!

three amazing weeks of sand, sun, family and fun...i really wish i had taken the opportunity to write 'in the moments' of our vacation to truly capture the events of the weeks ~ it was such a luxury to have enough time to be away to relax, be entertained and have enough family time to feel completely fulfilled!



Dad at Jockey's Ridge flying our new kite on the Fourth of July!

I left a week before lex because she was finishing up her summer school class. aunt suzy picked me up from the airport and she knew i was pregnant right away when i didn't order a drink at dinner! she was super excited and immediately coined the term 'baby granola' which i am certain will stick until the child is born. i had lovely accommodations at suzy's house and then i was off to the comforts of Chris and Anne's b&b. there i had a lush robe hanging on my door, my favorite body lotion and a luxurious bath in their tub :) A GREAT WAY TO KICK OFF THE VACATION! I spent the afternoon visiting with Cindy, Sasha and Cy by the pool, talking parenting, babies, fears and insecurities about this new adventure we are embarking upon. they are basically our role models and pioneers in our world of parentingand i am so thankful that they went first!
then it was off the coast to meet mom and dad at the traditional Black Pelican for lunch - it's one of those things we've been doing for years and it sets the tone for the rest of the trip. The food is always delicious, the downer this year was not having a beer at 11am, or 12 or one or anytime during the trip, but it's a small price to pay for the next several months. Mom, Dad, Suzy and I had a relaxing few days before Amy and the girls joined us. Gradually throughout the weeks, we had more conversations about being pregnant, raising kids and the challenges they all had along with the joys. It was wonderful to have these conversations with the family on several levels - I want to have guidance from them, and I want them to have trust in us and our abilities to create an amazing family too.

The second night we went to a delicious dinner at the Colington Cafe..www.colingtoncafe.com.

It's a great little house with a unique menu - I had fat scallops wrapped in bacon with a salad and wasabi mashed potatoes..everyone else had a combo with lots of wine so I got to be the DD for the crowd :)

Amy and the kids arrived Saturday afternoon and we started our engines again at the pelican - it's great for kids because their meals are served on a souvenier frisbee - http://www.blackpelican.com/. It's right across the street from the ocean so we always put our feet in after we eat lunch :) The girls were super excited to see all the family - Hannah showed us pics of her boyfriend on her cell phone- she's growing up way too fast for all of us! Gracie showed her personality right away, making her rounds to all the laps during lunch.

The rest of the week flew by, breakfast at the Nags Head Pier - yummy! We got up early and ate with the fisherman - after breakfast, we watched a huge school of dolphins make their way along the surf, tricks and everything. It was quite the sight with the morning sun reflecting on the water. The girls posed on the biggest bobberwe'd ever seen after our delicious meal. http://www.nagsheadpier.com/

On Monday, all the girls took a day trip to shop in Duck - Amy and I finally broke down and bought floppy beach hats that we swore we would never wear..:) Mom and Suzy have been wearing them for years- I guess we are finally catching up!

A DAY OF SURPRISES

Wednesday, Amy and I took the trip to Richmond to pick Lex up from the airport, not without a lengthy stop to the Cotton Gin, however, to buy ourselves new Veras for the season :) Lex had been counting on some brother-in-law bonding time with Brian, as he usually picks her up and they drive to the beach together, but he was unable to leave that day. We decided to play a little trick on Lex and have her believe that Brian was still coming, but several hours after she arrived at the airport! So he called her around the time she landed and told her he had a fire to go to and would be a few hours getting to Richmond. She calls me immediately, telling me that she knew this was going to happen, she was just going to rent a car and come on her own. Meanwhile, I'm actually at the airport, walking into the baggage claim area to surprise her and on the phone she says, "Wait, what are YOU doing here?" Anyway, the surprise was a success and we got her and hit to road back to the beach safely.

What we didn't know was what was happening at the beach while we were in route to and from the airport. All we knew was that we were having grilled pork tenderloin for dinner and it would be ready when we got back. What awaited us was an overwhelming surprise :)

The table was set with balloons, a banner and gifts for a family BABY SHOWER just for us! I think we were both in total shock at the support and encouragement from the family with this gesture. The girls were super excited and we were completely overwhelmed. Lex was still jet-lagged from losing three hours, so it was tough to hold it together. We had a amazing meal and and then we celebrated the coming of our baby with carrot cake, hugs and lots of love - my heart was so full :)

This was just the beginning of the fun...we continued the celebrations throughout the rest of the week...we got up early on the 4th and hiked Jockey's Ridge with our brand new kite (thanks dad!). We spent the afternoon of the 4th at the pool and then went back to the beach for a wonderful display of fireworks by the ocean. While we were waiting for the light show to begin, the whole family enthusiastically participated in a game of duck duck goose! We should have called it Ring Around the Rosie because by the end, we ALL definitely fell down!

Lex spoiled us all with nightly massages and Dad was the signature foot rubber!

Later on in the week, Lex, Mom, Dad and I took our annual trip to Okracoke Island on the ferry. We got up early and made our way to Hatteras, leisurely wasted away the morning at the most darling coffee shop ever! Not only is the coffee shop surrounded by pine trees and sand, there's a children's bookstore in the back- heaven to me! After the coffeeshop, we spent the afternoon on the beach where the sand is like powder and the water is like a bathtub- there's a reason Okracoke was voted the #1 beach in the country!

The rest of the week involved lots of beach time, a birthday party for our five year old pirate and lots of family laughs. One would think that three weeks would be enough, but there are always activities that we just don't do and have to keep coming back year after year to make more memories happen. We've been going to Nags Head for at least thirty years and somehow, we never seem to tire of it :0 ) Gracie said it the best on the night of her birthday party..."outer banks rules!"

Happy Birthday to Me!

The big 35...I believe I have more to be thankful for this year and more to celebrate every year. Getting pregnant and the beginning of our family was the best gift I could have gotten as well as all of the love and support from our families and friends that have come to us since... :)



The day didn't pass by without a celebration or more surprises! Our friends, Justin and Paige, had a great birthday surprise for me. Lex called and asked me to leave work a few minutes early...I made arrangements to come home, she had clothes ready for me, water, and we hopped in the car and headed down McDowell. We entered the gates of the Phoenix Zoo and Justin and Paige were there to greet us. Paige is in charge of all of the African animals at the zoo and she took us to meet all of her 'babies' for my birthday. I hate that I don't have pictures of the whole experience, but at the same time, we were totally in the moment with the animals since we weren't caught up with the picture taking process. First we met Half Ear and Notch, the rhinos. Paige called them to us and told us their stories. They are girls and one is super protective of the other. She brushed them and we were able to pet their tough skin- They are covered in coarse hair too, which surprised me- I've never been up close and personal with a rhino before!



Then we went to see the 'piggies' as Paige calls them. The warthogs are such interesting creatures with hair like horses, hooves and noses like pigs and tusks like elephants. The girls are Tori (mama) and Little Pig. Paige has trained Tori to come to the fence and roll over to have her belly rubbed, so we all rubbed Tori's belly! Little Pig was shy and let her mama get all of the attention. The boy warthogs were Colossus and Olympus- we ran out of treats, so they stayed in the shade during our visit.



The grand finale for me was meeting and feeding the family of giraffes. Their building is twice as tall as the other barns for the animals. We met all five giraffes, Samburu, Jambo, Makope, Charlie and Zuri. Each of them has different markings on their puzzle patterned fur. Jambo has a pattern of a heart on his chest that distinguishes him from the others. Makope gave us lots of kisses and her name means 'eyelashes' in Swahili. Zuri was very shy, but eventually ate out of our hands. Charlie was the tallest male, 18 feet tall I believe. Samburu was one of the moms and ate out of our hands too. They are the most graceful animals and we couldn't stop smiling when they looked at us and arched their necks toward us to give kisses! They have the most beautiful eyes and were very gentle creatures. We told Paige that she has the best job ever and she definitely agreed :)

thumpa thumpa

it's amazing how such a big sound can come from such a tiny organism..the power of our baby's heart beat brought us both to tears :) today was our first check up, the beginning of the eighth week of pregnancy - our family is growing one day at a time~ our doctor is awesome, she had just come from delivering another baby, she treated us as if she had known us for years, was excited about our journey to become parents and was extremely supportive of our decision to take control and make it happen ourselves. She said the strength of the heartbeat was a good sign and she found it pretty quickly, another good sign :) We are taking each day as a gift and learning how he or she is growing one day at a time. The whole experience has been so planned and calculated, it's refreshing to have someone else take control for a while :) I feel good most of the time, tired by 8pm, and Lex is with me each step of the way in making sure I'm eating all my fruits and veggies, drinking water and taking my vitamins. Thanks Lex, for being my support, my strength and taking such good care.

the end of an era

'the only thing constant is change'...the time has come for another change in my daily career activities. yesterday was my last day with the arizona department of education. after two years i have learned the ins and outs, ups and downs, the good the bad and the ugly of working for a state agency - as i reflect on the time spent in school improvement, i have learned as much about what not to do to have a successful school as i have learned what to do. now is my time to go in there and show that i know how to do it. i have gained more confidence in my knowledge, my presentation skills and grown professionally. i have listened and learned from many very capable individuals and listened and learned from people who did not have a clue. i want to keep that perspective in my pocket as i return to the world with students, parents, teachers and principals.

my new job will involve many hats...including but not limited to curriculum mapping development, creation of formative and summative assessments, professional development for teachers, coaching teachers, working with struggling students, analyzing data..the list goes on and on - all of these skills i have learned out of context and am thrilled to have an opportunity to really see what i can do and stretch myself even further :)

favorite things

BIG SNUGGLE HUGS CRASHING WAVES

KITTIES KISSING ON MY LAP

ROAD TRIPS WITH LOUDOG

'the surprise'

so we went to san diego to celebrate lex's graduation with ana and jeff and ana told us there would be a 'surprise' on friday. all she could tell us was that we needed old bathing suits and sunscreen. we were totally perplexed and questioning her intentions as the day was rainy and cold- why would we need bathing suits without towels?

what we failed to remember was that ana never fails us...she always does it in style and knows what we need the most - she took us to Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa in Corona, California - what a delight! Club Mud (to the right) was lucious..a bit cold to actually dry off, but the sisters had a mud fight and were flinging chunks at each other which was a hoot!



'the grotto' was probably my favorite part of the day - being painted with warm sea kelp and aloe, sitting in a humidified room (just like summers in richmond) and then i swear, the best shower i have ever had in my life :) followed by a cooling room where we are standing with fresh apples and a waterfall - so relaxing!

we probably used at least thirty of these towels throughout the day as it was a bit chilly, but that meant we had the place almost to ourselves and could meander from pool to pool as we desired...just as lex thought she couldn't get any more relaxed, ana's final surprise was a luxurious facial - she was practically comatose when she finished...a wonderful day with the ladies, a moment to remember :)

THANKS BIG SIS! WE LOVE YOU!

friends across time

"Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. "

the graduate

I am SO proud of this woman! She has put so much dedication, effort, time and committment to going back to school and accomplishing her goals. The ceremony was beautiful and she was just glowing...


This is the end of the ceremony when all of the grads were walking down the aisle- what a great pic!

Although I was the only immediate family there, we celebrated in style and went out for wine and apps afterwards - the absence of no one could have taken away her pride :)

Next stop, Nursing School! You can do it, Lex!

knowing myself

some days i move through the day like the flow of a river, with a smile on my face and positive thoughts in my mind and in my voice. most days are like that - but then every once in a while, an event, a comment, a thought will trigger the nastiest side of me and i react outwardly like i am about five years old. when this happens, i am forced to reach further into myself to look at trigger and ask myself 'why'. i read a theory years ago that reminded me the beauty and curse of each birthday- in addition to becoming a year older, we do not all together lose all the ages we have ever been. as adults, we are just supposed to suppress feeling of anger, jealousy, inadequacy and sadness. more often than i would like to admit, i still find myself comparing myself to all the other kids on the playground and feeling less than when i do. what difference does a mortgage, a marriage license, and new cars make? is that all i have to aspire to? i have a wonderful life, many people who care about me, who care about us, who support our relationship.

it's the 'shoulds' that get me down and sometimes i need to be checked in. yoga has helped remind me that it is not about 'getting there'. yoga is also teaching me that nothing is innately good or bad, it is perfect the way it is. i also am reminded that people will come in and out of my life and i do not need to hold onto every acquaintance forever - some people are only meant for a season and i am currently experiencing the end of a friendship and it has to be okay.

quiet reflection

the highs and lows of this day are almost too much to describe as getting ready for any holiday can be..in anticipation of the smaller holidays, ie. Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day ~ the days that we stop to celebrate, but are too minor to get a flight home to be with my parents are sometimes the most emotional and it almost comes out of nowhere. i've been so excited this week about baking and celebrating with Arizona family and being together that the onset of strong emotions this morning hit like a freight train.

i got up early and was all prepared to make my first batch of homemade cupcakes for our Easter dinner, decorated like little Easter baskets- i have seriously been planning on this for over a week - buying a new pan, looking up recipes, getting all the ingredients together..etc, etc. there were some challenges along the way, the licorice wilted, the frosting was too sweet, there were no papers to fit the pan, no sifter for the sugar - all kinds of roadblocks - somewhere between the cupcakes and the communication at the house, i had to release. the tears just came and would not stop, even my chest was aching. there's a certain feeling when you are overwhelmed with emotion that your heart actually hurts. lex sat with me in the bathroom until i got it all out and i cannot help but think about the bathroom story in "Eat, Pray, Love" where the author spends so much of her time releasing emotionally on the bathroom floor. letting go might have been the healthiest thing i did for myself today and it definitely prepared me for what was to come.

i work myself up on these minor holidays about who i will call first and often see if my family will call first. i had a few moments ended up talking to hannah, which is always a joy, then followed by a call to my sister. we got everything ready finally and drove to lex's parents, lou riding in the backseat. we read a chapter of "To Kill a Mockingbird" on the way to ease and clear our minds to prepare for the second part of the day.

when we arrived, everyone was milling about, getting the food ready for a beautiful Easter lunch. once we had it under control, i stepped away and called mom and dad. i knew they were spending Easter just with each other as amy and family weren't able to make it this year. we had an upbeat conversation, laughed a little, and told each other "I love you." i miss being able to be with them on days like today, and even more so when i spend time with families who hurt each other and are struggling with forgiveness. ana and jeff came from la to make amends and begin rebuilding a broken relationship with lex's parents and the holiday ended with a front yard confrontation, many unkind words, more tears, a hurt dog, and even more hurt feelings. a daughter walked away from her father and mother, unable to fathom what had just occured and a man stood up for her and their relationship. rather than make an effort to begin to heal old wounds, the result of the time spent together today was the breaking of more skin.

on this day we count our blessings of our family's acceptance, love and kindness. i am thankful to have them, even if we are unable to be together physically, to nurture our relationships. i am blessed with good health, a loving family and partner and mama, lou an teddy in our cozy home.

Ode to Coffeeshops

Bubbly
Frothy
Spicy, sweet.
Smooth
Relaxing
A time away.
Jazz, blues, folk tunes
Are heard.
People talking,
Laughing
Reading
Listening
Thinking, sharing, bonding.
The comfort of
A hot cup of joe.
All seasons
All times.
A place to steal a moment
Away from the world.

a beautiful day in the desert

days like today i am so thankful of warm weather and sunshine almost every day of the year. we got up early, lou and i took a walk down roosevelt street in search of the farmer's market. i had seen a sign on the street and made a mental note to check it out on the weekend. we followed the signs and it let us to a quaint little marketplace with local farmers and artists sharing their craft. lou sniffed out some organic peanut butter treats that he had to have and we found a warm spot just as the live music was starting. lex joined us soon after and we spent the morning enjoying the sunshine, drinking coffee and sharing tamales, barbeque and an appleturnover..yum~ it seems that we are discovering new gifts the city has to offer all the time, right in our backyard.

the afternoon brought more sunshine and we took advantage of comp tickets to the desert botanical gardens. they are tucked back off the main road and the paths wind around giant saguaros, octillo and prickly pears. snuggly desert rabbits were all along the path and desert rats scurried into their holes..lots of snowbirds were there to learn about the desert and enjoy the afternoon. we strolled along the path, taking it all in, breathing in the afternoon...ahhh...

Winter Wonderland

Yes, Virginia, there is winter in Arizona

somehow it seems that the older we get, the more we enjoy doing the things we enjoyed as kids (except sometimes alcohol is involved!) lex and i just got back from a long president's day weekend in the white mountains of arizona- about 31/2 hours north east of phoenix and had more fun just hanging out. ironically so, mom and dad are currently spending their last day in the Florida Keys, while we ventured north to experience temperatures below 60 and SNOW. the drive was beautiful, snow covered mountains and pine trees all over...we stopped on the way to toss snowballs at each other and give lex a chance to make a snow angel!

saturday morning we lounged with our coffee and then bundled up to spend some time in the outdoor hot tub at the condo - nothing like soaking in a steam bath with a snow covered ground - delicious- ...later we went to the movies with a picnic lunch - "definitely, maybe" - cute flick, but SO predictable, as romantic comedies tend to be. after the movie we drove around looking for a local park where we could take a stroll, stretch out our legs and enjoy the sunshine. Woodland Lake Park was where we ended up- the whole lake was frozen except for a small area under the bridge where all the ducks were hanging out. it was great to see so many people out at the park on a sunday afternoon in the cold, walking dogs, riding bikes, pushing strollers...we ended our afternoon - SLEDDING - it was so much fun to remember all of the childhood memories I had sledding at Gypsy Hill park golfcourse, Preston Lane, SMA and the hills of Mary Baldwin. (Thanks Dad!) being a native Arizonan, Lex is a newbie to sledding and she totally fell in love with it - and we caught it all on tape. She was way better than me- I had a tough time staying on the course, imagine that.

No Words

I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.

Shaq Attack

Two of our favorite things to do in our spare time are to spend time with Lou, the most handsome canine in our lives and cheering on our own Phoenix Suns.

Just last week, these two worlds collided.. One would think that with the FBR open, the Superbowl and much talked about NBA match-ups, we would have run into SOMEONE famous...but noooo....!

Tuesday night we heard the dreaded news that my #1 fav player, Shawn Marion was being traded, along with Marcus Banks for a 300+ pounder Shaq. How is that an even trade? I'm especially disappointed since I finally broke down and bought a Suns T-shirt with Marion's number on it in November and it's already an archive!

Back to walking the dog...yesterday afternoon, Lex and I had several minutes between classes and massages, the sun was out, so we decided to take our handsome man for a walk. For those of you who have visited us, we fondly refer to our abode as "the barrio." We are in between freeways and the middle of downtown, so walking Lou casually through the neighborhood is often met with scary pit bulls and even scarier Chihuahuas! So we made our way past the houses, cross the freeway and land on this lovely patch of grass behind one of the city's hospitals. Lou loves the grass (considering we have so little of it- poor guy has to roll around in the rocks at home!) We pause for Lou to sniff - and roll - and roll -- and sniff......I'm looking around and I notice a limo SUV pull up into the back parking lot of the hospital..

Me: Who in the *&%$ comes to the hospital in a limo??

Lex: I don't know, but let's hurry up so we can see!come on, Lou, stop sniffing!

The driver gets out and runs around to open the door just as we can see feet stepping out of the limo.

Lex: OMG! It's Shaquille O'Neal!

Me: No way, really?? Lex: Yeah, look at him limp- HE's HUGE!!

Lex fumbles to get her phone to take a pic- but instead we spent more time questioning whether it was him or not.

So we watch all 300+ pounds of Shaq limp up the ramp into the hospital, towering above his white hand man - only to find out several hours later, that our sighting was, indeed, the newest addition to our own Phoenix Suns. Moral of the Story- keep walking your dog - you never know where you will end up :)

GO SUNS!!

Just Getting Started

So this is easily the third time I have attempted at creating a blog space of my own and I am determined to be successful this time. Many days pass with memorable moments, ideas to be saved, intelligent quotes and feel good experiences. I bought yet another journal recently, thinking I would write them all down (part of the new year ritual) and truth is..the notebook stands virtually empty. Living so far away from some of my dearest friends and all of my family ~ this is a tribute to each of you and to me as we all experience these "moments in time."

live with intention

walk to the edge

listen hard

practice wellness

play with abandon

laugh

choose with no regret

continue to learn

appreciate your friends

do what you love

live as though this is all there is..